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Winter is coming and I hate Winter. Unless it's snowing, then I like it only 10% more.
I hate the song "marry that girl" the guy said no, but you were gonna marry her anyway, so why did you have to make a song to tell us!???? The radio plays it an incessant amount of times and it seems whenever I get in the car it's playing!
I'm taking comfort in the little things, things I can control and know are constant.. I fall asleep with the tv on and I cry... *sigh* I cry much more than I want to at the stupidest of things. I spend as much time at the yard with the horses as I can just to take my mind off things. I sit in coffee shops and listen to fleeting conversations, the clink of cups and the smell of espressos. I cut ties because I was drowning on dry land and I regret it today but I won't tomorrow or the next, and slowly I won't regret a thing and I'll be back to me.
I'm letting the stress get to me at work and I de-stress by drinking more coffee than I think is actually healthy for me. I don't listen to songs that remind me of broken memories, I listen to classical music because it's beautiful and uncomplicated. I live one week to the next in a routine that suits, it's neither friendly or productive, it's just simple. I've made a plan to escape and get away but it's another few months off and I'm tired now. I need a break now. I have 3 and a half days holiday left... I would like to use it wisely (I won't use it wisely!)
I'm having to fall out of love. It's not an easy task, and I'd like to take the easy way out and hibernate but I'm not a bear... even though it's bloody cold right now and I feel like I need to wear ten jumpers whilst the rest of the UK walks around in t-shirts. And I'm rambling, but I need to ramble and I need to cry myself to sleep sometimes because our love didn't just 'end' like it meant nothing. It ended because there was a stalemate... And I still think I should have fought... But what would fighting for it do if the other is adamant that they will not change, no matter how much they "love" you?
So I'm here, living... Day to day and this is how it is.
Mortal Instruments FanFiction...
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Is breá slán a fhágáil ;; goodbye love ♥