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A piece of me.

Recently something that someone did (whether intentionally or unintentionally) really bothered me to the point where I started to question why I try so hard to create the artwork that I do. I am a 30 year old woman and I cried at a critique that I received. It was public and pulled apart everything that I had created in one fell swoop. It wasn't asked for and it hit me hard. It was truthful and I believe the person who left it didn't know what they were doing would affect me in such a way, but regardless it has and I'm not proud to have to say this but I have had enough, I can't live like this anymore.

I can't claim to be as good as those amazing artists out there now because I really am not. Digital Art is taken such a massive step in recent years and I haven't been able to keep up because I just don't have the time to dedicate to it anymore. I understand that that makes what I create less than desirable over that of someone who gets to perfect their style on a much more frequent basis.

I started to create all those years ago to escape everything that I was struggling with in real life. Everything that I created in art was something that I couldn't  escape in my waking life. It was (is) a lifeline. A lot of my pieces had hidden meanings, characters had scars and broken pasts because that was me. There was a piece of me in every artwork I submitted.

I'm not a confident person, I have severe panic attacks that get worse with stress and lately that's all my life is made up of. I'm not good at being the adult that I should be and I go through a massive "what the eff am I doing with my life" question daily: the answer is almost always the same, nothing. I am a recovering self harmer who is gay and the size of a house. I never planned to live passed my 30th birthday and don't even get me started on the fact that I turn 31 this year and I still live with my parents. I can't draw manes and tails, I don't produce half of what I want to in art because my self esteem gets in the way. I convince myself that it's not "good enough" to submit, that it's not half what I used to be when my emotional outbursts would produce some amazing scenes inside my messed up head.

8 years ago my best friend decided that she would fuck off out of my life and my art turned dark, really dark, I typography'd more, I started to self harm and lost myself for a while but art was ALWAYS there. Always constant and reliable. I could fall into it and out of it as easily as I wanted. I never wanted the flame to fade, but it did regardless. And soon it was months between submitted creations because I just didn't have the confidence to submit work that was mediocre at best. Every piece needed to be better than the last one I submitted, it became a personal endeavour and I was my own worst enemy. I destroyed a lot of close to finished work because it was too much of "the same".

I have never, in my 10 years on DeviantART, once offered a critique to anyone. The reason for this is because I don't like how it makes me feel like a failure. Because I am a perfectionist and should a critique see something that I "failed" on it makes me feel even less adequate. I don't want ANYONE to feel like that. It's literally the worst feeling in the world.

I've lost the spark and I'm sorry. Because I never wanted to react that way to something so simple as a critique on a mediocre piece of artwork. I'm sorry that my art is a disappointment sometimes, I am only human and I'll try harder, but when I've given all I can and its still not good enough then I'm afraid I'll have to call it a day.

I don't want sympathy or dragons at my door, I just want to create art and be happy doing it. So I am asking respectfully, please no critiques. I am my own worst critic and it's killing me.

~~

commissions status

:bulletgreen: O P E N :bulletgreen:

full manipulation

£85.00 (GBP) + extra subject £25.00 (GBP)



examples

soul battles. by devils-horizon oblivion. by devils-horizon


:bulletblack: This will be a equine based photomanipulation - please be advised that I do not offer any other main subject, if you would like an extra subject to be non equine, this is okay.
:bulletblack: Anything you like, any design, character, theme.
:bulletblack: Full photomanipulation inclusive of all the frills - just ask!


things you'll need to know


:bulletblue: I accept payment by PayPal only and require the full payment before starting the work.
:bulletblue: I will open 3 - 4 slots at a time, once those slots have been taken slots will only reopen when all the artwork has been completed for all clients.
:bulletblue: You can see my artwork status and just how far I'm getting on my front page.
:bulletblue: To reserve a slot please send me a note - it doesn't have to include all your request information to start with (unless you have it to hand right away) - we can discuss that later.


slots

xxMysteryStockxx
HereInsideMyHeart
DEO-VOLANTE
Slot status: Available LB version by DizzyAlyx
Slot status: Available LB version by DizzyAlyx

If you have any further questions please just ask :)

~ ♥ ~



Hollleeee fook I did it... I just bought a ticket to Australia and I'm boarding that plane in

8 months 12 days (256 days!!!)


I don't think you'd believe me if I told you that it cost under a grand for a multicity set of flights to Melbourne, Tasmania & Sydney right!? Well... it did and it was cheaper than another trip to the USA or Canada so I have jumped at the chance and can honestly say I'm so excited that my nerves are now starting to sneak through; 23hrs on a plane... I think I'm gonna dieeeeee O.o

My rough itinerary is below - I'm already meeting some amazing people whilst I'm out there, including fillyrox & alais-photography but of course I would welcome the chance to meet more of you if the time allows! Due to my flights I am limited to the places that I can be but have flexible time in Melbourne in September & Sydney in October - so if anyone would be willing to travel to one of those places to meet little old' me; I would be very grateful as I do not have access to a car.

Or alternatively; if you're interested in coming travelling with me for part or all of the journey again you're very welcome :) I understand domestic flights are cheap as chips! ;) So onto the itinerary:



Sat 24th Sept: Flying from London to Melbourne (23hrs.. oh God kill me!)
Sun 25th Sept: Arrive in Melbourne 9pm (severely jet lagged!! 0____o)
Mon 26th Sept: Free Day in Melbourne
Tue 27th Sept: Free Day in Melbourne
Wed 28th Sept: Possible Trip to the Great Ocean Road
Thu 29th Sept: Free Day in Melbourne
Fri 30th Sept: Flying from Melbourne to Hobart (asscrack of dawn! ohmagerd! *yawn*)
Sat 1st Oct: Free Day/Possible Tour to Sea Cliffs - Hobart
Sun 2nd Oct: Free Day/Possible Tour to Sea Cliffs - Hobart
Mon 3rd Oct: Tour of Tasmania with Intrepid.
Tue 4th Oct: Tour of Tasmania with Intrepid.
Wed 5th Oct: Tour of Tasmania with Intrepid.
Thu 6th Oct: Tour of Tasmania with Intrepid.
Fri 7th Oct: Tour of Tasmania with Intrepid.
Sat 8th Oct: Tour of Tasmania with Intrepid.
Sun  9th Oct: Flying from Hobart to Sydney (woop! decent afternoon flight!)
Mon 10th Oct: Free Day in Sydney
Tue 11th Oct: Free Day in Sydney (MEET KATE RITCHIE - yeah I know... not likely but I'm still dreaming! *fangirls*)
Wed  12th Oct: Possible Trip to the Blue Mountains
Thu 13th Oct: Free Day in Sydney
Fri 14th Oct: Flying from Sydney to London (afternoon/evening flight - sleeeeeeeeeppppppp :heart:!!)
Sat 15th Oct: Arrive back in the UK - completely exhausted!! XD
Sun 16th Oct - Sun 23rd Oct: JETTTTTTTTT LAGGGGGGGGGG O_O


If you're interested in taking the Tasmania trip the details are here: www.intrepidtravel.com/austral…
If you're interested in joining me for a bit of the way do say :) or even if you're interested in coffee or just saying hi that too is cool :) The day trips that I'm thinking of going on are below, nothing is planned yet; talk to me Aussie's! :D

Sydney Blue Mountains Tour: www.bluemountainstoursydney.co…
Hobart Sea Cliffs Tour: www.tasmancruises.com.au/
Melbourne Great Ocean Road Tour: greatoceanroadmelbournetours.c…

~~

The Walking Dead "Bethyl" FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^

~x~

~~

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~ ♥ ~

~ ♥ ~

Every year I promise wholeheartedly that I will make a calendar for the next up and coming year.... every year it never quite seems to manifest somehow!! 2015 is different however; this afternoon I forced myself to sit literally in one place and complete an official calendar of my artwork! This is a journal to push that fact and advertise that it is now in the shop for sale at a pretty reasonable price if I do say so myself! I have ordered one for me and when it comes I'll post pictures on this journal so you can see it in it's real capacity. (the images below won't have those horrible lines next to them in some of the photos - this outsides of the bleed line that will be chopped off when printed!) So without further a do, here's my new 2016 Calendar of Artwork:

Purchase Now


















~~

The Walking Dead "Bethyl" FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^

~x~

~~

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~ ♥ ~

~ ♥ ~

Time has literally flown by this year, back to back photography opportunities have prevented me from completeing a lot of partially started artwork and what art used to fill my hard-drive has been replaced with literally thousands upon thousands of photographs. That said; now that winter is coming around I'm hoping that I will have renewed time and inspiration for artwork! (We can hope right!?)

I wanted to update my journal because I missed my 10 year deviantART anniversary on July 4th and I celebrated my 30th birthday on August 24. Can't quite believe that I started submitting art here over 10 years ago, almost feels like I am a part of the furniture now!

I'm working on something right now (*ahem* correction, I was working on something this evening >_<) it's a working progress and hopefully it will be a submitted progress soon enough! :giggle:



Wilson is no longer a babby; in fact he's very nearly 11 months old and it honestly feels like time has fast forwarded in a blink of an eye; but the more he grows up the more of a handsome pup he becomes, the longer the hair, the naughtier the personality - He's just brilliant in so many ways, a total dude! I love him for the crazy ball obsessed freak that he is (which means he's also a fully integrated member of our weird family lol)! :D







In other news, I need to up in 4 hours for a photoshoot, so I bid all'a y'all farewell for the time being. I will be finishing my 4k gifts as soon as I am able and hopefully before the new year ( and because I suck at time frames please do not hold me to this! :P) - we all live in hope! :giggle:

~~

The Walking Dead "Bethyl" FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^

~x~

~~

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Alright so it's been a while eh!? Eek. Bet some of you thought I'd fallen off the edge of the earth!? (so did I sometimes, I swear!) Since I started to professionally shoot my friend's equine clinics the editing of purchased photos has literally consumed my entire non work working life. As I write this journal another 1750 photos from a SJ clinic last Saturday is being automatically resized by Photoshop. It's a non stop thrill ride and I enjoy every second of it if it means that I can spend some time with the horses ^.^ (easily pleased, I am!)

I had to "give up" sharing Meg at the end of January thanks to falling out with her owner (old college friend) about the treatment of her two horses (standing in poop all day, beds the size of 1 square foot, no water in the field, moldy haylage & feeds the size of golf balls to name a few problems!) and I also walked in on her slagging me off in the tack room one day! Meg has gone back to the place we were at last Spring whilst being full loaned by a lovely lady ~ so I'm glad that she's happy, doesn't make me miss her any less though! :cries: But one saving grace is that the lady who owns the yard we were at has a cob called Minty she lets me ride every so often :)

I have been working on something new, previews below:




I've not been ignoring my notes, just glossing over them - I know a few of you want stamps, I'll get to them as soon as I can, what you can do to help me out is to tell me which stamp you would like when you note me ^.^ ~ thanks!

My attention has been drawn to some Horseland theft (yet again!) don't think there's anything I can do about that as I'm not a member anymore and HL Staff don't seem to care, so I'm sweeping that under the rug until it becomes a bigger problem.

I'm still invested in the 4k prizes, I have a few more up my sleeve but they are in the process of being made, I know it's nearly the end of March (Arrghhh!) but since when did I do things on time anyway!???! :lol: ;)

And last, but by no means least; here's another trouble maker that has been taking up the rest of my time and sleep and chewing my ears! I'd like you all to meet Wilson, the new addiction (*ahem*, I mean addition) to our family:







Wilson was born on Armistice Day (11/11/2014) last year, we've only had him a month and yet it feels like he's been here forever, our lives and hearts have moulded around him and he's a smart little fellow for only 4 months old! He's growing up fast but still likes nothing more than to curl up on your lap in the evening and go to sleep!

Everyone loves a Wilson; I know I do! ;)

~~

The Walking Dead "Bethyl" FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^

~x~

~~

:bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack: Connect With Me :bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack:





~ ♥ ~

~ ♥ ~

{20 x Social Media Icons is up :)}
{3rd premade background is up! <3}
{2nd of the premade backgrounds uploaded - link below! :D}
{1st of the premade backgrounds uploaded - link below! ^^}
{2nd installment is linked below :)}
{The 1st of the links to prizes is linked below!! ^^}

= = = =

I'm more than ecstatic and very proud to announce that, after a very long wait with baited breath, I have today reached 4,000 watchers!!! :dance:
This is my 10th year on this site and to say that I'm chuffed to bits is a massive understatement as I can't even really believe it! Lots of 4's featuring thus far too (lucky number!), on the 4th day of Jan I reach 4k watchers! Yep 4 really is a lucky no. today!!! ^^

So a while back I asked what I should do when I finally did get there and with a bit of help from arrsistable this afternoon I decided on a multitude of prizes for you all. To not only say a massive thank you but also give you a great big cyberdigital hug for sticking with me so long! I know I say you're all :star:'s alot but I really do mean it this time - you're all shining brighter day in day out and having this place and you guys as my sanctuary for so long has been a verified godsend.

Thank you. <3

So in the next few days I shall be offering the following free to all my watchers from forever ago and to those who are new ~ know that you are equally as special....

12 x Exclusive Premade High Quality Backgrounds:
001 || 002 || 003 || 004 || 005 || 006
007 || 008 || 009 || 010 || 011 || 012

10 x Exclusive Stock Photos from my own private collection.
A pack of 20 Social Media Icons.
8 x Exclusive Premade Textures.
6 x Exclusive Gradients.


Once again, thank you all so so very much! :)

STAY AWESOME! x


{Oh and uhm, does anyone want to make me a little pixel icon of Orealis' new transformation colours? I'm looking for something like I have at the moment or a cute fullbody shot - animated please :) and I can pay points or cash! ^^ Cheers! x}



~~

The Walking Dead "Bethyl" FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^

~x~

~~

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~ ♥ ~

~ ♥ ~

Monterey Morello

"Ozzy"

January 23rd 2005 - December 6th 2014

We all have our own way of coping with death, I went to the yard early that Sunday morning and spent an entire five hours in silence - just "being" with Meg. The nine years you gifted us with your boundless personality and love of everything around you were the best nine years of my life. Nothing will be as good as you, the house feels empty without you and equally nothing will replace you. You were unique, a crazy white ball of fluffy energy, loving cuddles and endlessly companionship. You are missed, greatly. I still tuck my feet in at night should you come in to my room in the morning and lick my toes. I miss your nails on the hardwood floor. I wait for you to give me an "Ozzy attitude" answer when a joke comes up in conversation. I leave the lights on at night because I'm afraid of the dark without you (even though you were as chickenshit as I in the dark!). I wait till I know everyone else is home before I come home because the house is so empty without you. I never regret any of the time we spent together and I still talk about you as if you were here.

You weren't just a pet, you were my friend, you were Ozzy and you were here.

Goodnight little man x

~~

My old friend, this song's for you
Cause a few simple verses
Was the least that I could do
To tell the world that you were here
Cause the love and the laughter
Will live on long after
All of the sadness and the tears
We'll meet again, my old friend









 








~~

The Walking Dead "Bethyl" FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^

~x~

~~

:bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack: Connect With Me :bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack:





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~ ♥ ~

~~update~~

Hello all, thank you for all your comments on my journal, I'll respond when I can. Ozzy passed away this evening, he passed on naturally and in his own bed with me, dad and mum around him. He's in a much happier place now and not suffering anymore, and I feel so honoured to have shared nearly 10 years with him. I'll be posting a journal dedicated to him and his life when I can get all my feelings together without sobbing my heart out. Xx

--

It's the sickness I can't get over, the way he's gone down hill in the space of a couple of weeks. It looks like we neglect him, that we've forgotten to feed him for weeks on end when in reality we've sat beside him feeding him by hand night after night after night.

I wouldn't wish this illness on any living creature, it's a cruel horrid way to go and I hate that we didn't notice it sooner. I wish I'd taken more pictures (though I have in excess of 1000), I wish I'd taken more walks, given more love, had more time.

I wish above everything I'd had more time.

He's all but given up, there's no light anymore, no little woofs, no tail wag no nothing. He's just endlessly sleepy. I gave him his Christmas presents early and my mum informed my brother (who lives in Singapore) this morning that he may not make it till Christmas, he may not make it till my brother comes home on the 22nd.

I'm hoping for a miracle, I'm hoping he holds on so my brother can say goodbye. I prayed for the first time in 8 years last night. I begged and pleaded and I cried more tears for him than I ever did my ex.

I'm angry that someone I loved for 18 months expected me to show more love to her than him. My best friend for over 9 years. Fuck he's been there through a lot more than someone who couldn't be bothered to tell her family she was gay despite telling me how much she "loved" me. It was, is and always will be him and fuck you for assuming otherwise! At the end of the day he will never have been selfish in all of his life because he gave gave gave till he had no more.

Now I need to be selfless and let him go.

My heart hurts.


~~

The Walking Dead "Bethyl" FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^

~x~

~~

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Winter is coming and I hate Winter. Unless it's snowing, then I like it only 10% more.

I hate the song "marry that girl" the guy said no, but you were gonna marry her anyway, so why did you have to make a song to tell us!???? The radio plays it an incessant amount of times and it seems whenever I get in the car it's playing!

I'm taking comfort in the little things, things I can control and know are constant.. I fall asleep with the tv on and I cry... *sigh* I cry much more than I want to at the stupidest of things. I spend as much time at the yard with the horses as I can just to take my mind off things. I sit in coffee shops and listen to fleeting conversations, the clink of cups and the smell of espressos. I cut ties because I was drowning on dry land and I regret it today but I won't tomorrow or the next, and slowly I won't regret a thing and I'll be back to me.

I'm letting the stress get to me at work and I de-stress by drinking more coffee than I think is actually healthy for me. I don't listen to songs that remind me of broken memories, I listen to classical music because it's beautiful and uncomplicated. I live one week to the next in a routine that suits, it's neither friendly or productive, it's just simple. I've made a plan to escape and get away but it's another few months off and I'm tired now. I need a break now. I have 3 and a half days holiday left... I would like to use it wisely (I won't use it wisely!)

I'm having to fall out of love. It's not an easy task, and I'd like to take the easy way out and hibernate but I'm not a bear... even though it's bloody cold right now and I feel like I need to wear ten jumpers whilst the rest of the UK walks around in t-shirts. And I'm rambling, but I need to ramble and I need to cry myself to sleep sometimes because our love didn't just 'end' like it meant nothing. It ended because there was a stalemate... And I still think I should have fought... But what would fighting for it do if the other is adamant that they will not change, no matter how much they "love" you?

So I'm here, living... Day to day and this is how it is.


~~

Mortal Instruments FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^

~x~

~~

Still accepting 50 :points: animated artist stamp commissions; see this link for more info. ❤

~~

:bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack: Connect With Me :bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack:





~ ♥ ~

Is breá slán a fhágáil ;; goodbye love ♥

~ ♥ ~

Good evening all, the time has come to talk to you about some updates and changes that have happened in the last couple of months.

Firstly, my girlfriend and I have parted ways, it was a mutual agreement that we both felt needed to happen and we're working on being just friends now.

End of July we moved the girls to a new yard some 20/30mins away in Wargrave, Berkshire. It's much friendlier than our old place and the girls are ten times happier than they were when we were making the decision to move. Meg is having some foot troubles now, which is a bit of a worry, with the location being super gravel orientated and more road work than we had before. As I'm only a sharer, I'm having a really difficult time trying to persuade her owner (also a good friend) to front shoe her. I'm going to make a poll about this because I want to know what everyone thinks, good or bad - I need serious help in this case!

I have a massive list of people to thank for my birthday wishes :) you're all superstars and I will get round to you all very soon with thanks. <3 especially to those of you who made me art and images in dedication, I have seen them (thank you) but I'm also snowed under right now, so please bear with me :)

A couple of weeks ago, a colleague and myself were called into my bosses office and point blank accused of bullying his daughter. Not only was this a shock, but I found out that a lot of the things I had told her at the gym or in the pub had somehow found their way back to daddy (my boss) and she had been two-faced to all of us. The bullying consisted of, but was not limited to, ignoring her when we started the day, not saying morning, not including her in conversations about the office, making her cry, accusing her of getting parts of her job wrong, talking in the office, not talking in the office, creating an atmosphere by not talking in the office, not asking her how her holiday was, talking about tv program's she didn't watch and not interacting with her when she wanted to talk about tv shows that we didn't watch, not inviting her out to lunch, talking about her behind her back.... Etc etc. the list went on for over 10 minutes. It was pointless trying to argue your point because he was having none of it, so we were marked down and sent back to work, needless to say my wish to work there has now been slashed by 89% and I'm looking for a job elsewhere. Two weeks later, and two tech guys get called in for pretty much the same thing. If the whole work place is "bullying" your daughter, then surely your daughter is the problem!??! There are 13 people in our company, 8 are looking for a new job... Says a lot doesn't it?

The people at the new yard we've moved to have helped me set up my equine photography business; Facebook.com/VickiClarkeEquinePhotography and one of the lecturers has enabled me to accompany her on her XC clinics to build up a client base. I couldn't ask for a better set of friends right now ~ with real life (bringing home the bacon) work treating me as a spare part this was just what I needed to set me on the right track again.

I took Ozzy to the beach with friends at the weekend for my birthday, it was brilliant and I really think (I really hope) he had fun with the other doggies and playing in the sea, running around in the sun :) In the week leading up to the trip he wasn't too well and I really hoped he'd be better to take with me. He's not well though, there isn't long left with my little man and it's heart-wrenching to watch. He's got kidney disease and is slowly losing not only weight, but condition too. He's as skinny as a rake and it looks like we don't feed him. But no matter how much he does eat he just can't keep the weight on. 😢 It's tough on the family, he's a part of this family and I had foolishly thought he would defy all reason and live forever... We're making the most of the time we have left; and if that means frequent beach trips with doggie friends, I am most certainly gonna do it, time and time again :)

My commissions are still on hold, I owe a lot of people a lot of things, so they'll be that way for the foreseeable future (I'm sorry!) those who have a slot it has been honoured and put under "other" and stamps are coming soon too, after this current batch I shake not be making any more for groups unless specifically agreed before payment. I just don't have the time to keep changing it again and again months down the line because the members have changed.

I'm around, even if I'm not posting all the time, I read comments and journals and send notes and read them too, but I do not always have the time to answer them and I'm sorry for that too. Quite a few people have asked me about commissions and trades in the last couple of weeks and I'm afraid I'm going to have to say no here and let that be that. The time constraints these last couple of months have doubled and what time I find to play on photoshop I lose interest in a piece in a matter of hours. I miss you all and think of you often and wish only for a little more time to enjoy what really matters; soon I hope, soon.

Thank you for reading x

Oh, and P.S. there is a new GoPro video up on my YouTube channel.... It's a slo mo cantering video.... Muscle movements, shadow slo mo, mane movements, lens flares all that damn smexy 120fps of it and all!!! ;) check it out here:

youtu.be/IQ-vBsOX96I

~~

Mortal Instruments FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^


~x~

~~

Still accepting 50 :points: animated artist stamp commissions; see this link for more info. ❤

~~

:bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack: Connect With Me :bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack:





~ ♥ ~

Is breá slán a fhágáil ;; goodbye love ♥

~ ♥ ~

Today, after nearly 14 months of growth and at a length of 83cm from root to tip, I had my hair cut.... Not the most amazing feat I know, but this wasn't just any hair cut; I grew it for that extended length of time so that when the time came my hair could be sent off to the Little Princess Trust for a little prince or princess. From the hair donations that LPT receive they'll make wigs for children who gave lost their hair through illnesses such as the big C. Tomorrow I'm sending 36.5cm (14.3in) of braided hair to LPT for this cause...









I feel liberated now!! Shorter hairrrrrrr!! ^^

~~

Mortal Instruments FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^


~x~

~~

Still accepting 50 :points: animated artist stamp commissions; see this link for more info. ❤

~~

:bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack: Connect With Me :bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack:





~ ♥ ~

Is breá slán a fhágáil ;; goodbye love ♥

~ ♥ ~

No seriously, check this incredible portrait out:

Coach Horse by Pyrcias

Referenced from my hackney photo:

Hackney Face. by devils-horizon

How freakin' awesome is that!??? This gal has some serious talent!

~~

Mortal Instruments FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^


~x~

~~

Still accepting 50 :points: animated artist stamp commissions; see this link for more info. ❤

~~

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~ ♥ ~

Is breá slán a fhágáil ;; goodbye love ♥

~ ♥ ~

Well as it was my 9th DeviantART Birthday yesterday I treated 9 DeviantART artists with premi's today ~ you don't need to say thank you just make it worth while and create create create! :D
~x~

~~

Mortal Instruments FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^


~x~

~~

Still accepting 50 :points: animated artist stamp commissions; see this link for more info. ❤

~~

:bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack: Connect With Me :bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack:





~ ♥ ~

Is breá slán a fhágáil ;; goodbye love ♥

~ ♥ ~

Tagged by the beautiful :icontwilight-veil: Twilight-Veil ❤️


Rules

1. You must post these rules.
2. Each person has to share 10 facts about themselves.
3. Answer the 10 questions asked by the person who tagged you and make up 10 questions for the 10 you tag.
4. Choose 10 people and put their icons in your journal.
5.  Not something like "You are tagged if you read that".
6. You have to legitimately tag 10 people.
7. No tag-backs.
8. You can't say that you don't do tags.
9. You MUST make a journal entry!


Facts:

1. I get on better with animals than I do people. In fact I think the more I grow up the more I prefer animals over humans. -__-
2. I am of English, Irish & Scottish decent.
3. I went to school with Kelly Osbourne.
4. I'm gay and I have just come out of a 2 year relationship with a truly awesome woman who I miss everyday and who I wish I had had the courage to pursue without hesitation whilst I had the chance.
5. Beautiful music makes me cry.
6. I obsessively hoard washi tape like it's going out of fashion.
7. Tomorrow (4th July 2014) is my 9th DeviantART birthday! :cake:
8. I left college nearly 10 years ago, this fact makes me feel old!
9. The summer I spent as a camp councillor in Pennsylvania was one of the best experiences of my life.
10. I'm the eldest child, my siblings and I all have different natural hair colours. Me (dark brown), my brother (red), my sister (blonde).


Questions asked by :icontwilight-veil: Twilight-Veil

1. If you could have a companion pet, who would be with you your entire life, completely friendly, and it could be any animal in the entire world what would you choose?
Totally completely and utterly a maned wolf - if Isramii actually existed it would make my year, life ^^

2. Favorite: book, movie, and song?
Book: "Cloud Atlas" by David Mitchell
Movie: The Last of The Mohicans OR Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Song: "Prosthetic Love" by Typhoon followed very closely by "Miles Away" by Years Around The Sun

3. How many times have you swam in the ocean?
I want to say many, but I've only really swam properly in one, just off the coast of Nice in the South of France when I was 14 or 15.

4. How do you like your coffee?
Super strong, a little dash of milk, poured over ice and 1 sugar *Bliss*

5. What's your favorite thing to do on weeknights?
Settle down with a book or tv show and catch up on everything I missed <3

6. Do you remember your dreams?
Some. Some I want to forget, others I want to remember forever (and rarely do)

7. Do you sleep with socks on or off?
Off!!! Totally off, even in Winter!

8. Where's your favorite place in the whole world?
For a long time I would have said the latest place I had travelled, I would never had said right here where I was born, but as I've gotten older I've realised that my favourite place to be in the whole world is with the people I love. I could travel to some far flung country and stay for a time, but I don't think I would be any happier about it, I used to always think that my fav place was the west coast of Canada... I've been twice and my god I think I could die there and die happy (ish) but the reality of it is the world is a VERY big place when you've got no one to share it with (and friends and family are miles away) and everything you thought you chased to that place ended up being just as good back home anyway.

9. Would you rather be a werewolf or vampire?
wereWolf!! BRING IT ON!!!

10. Which would you prefer: living in a post-apocalyptic large city alone or post-apocalyptic forest in the middle of nowhere alone?
God I HATE the city! I'll take the forest any damn day!


Questions for the tagged:

1. Which song accurately describes your life right now?
2. What mobile (cell) do you have and what was the 1st you ever had?
3. If you could meet any celebrity, artist, actor you like, who would it be and why?
4. Given the ability to do-over a period in your life time, which part would you do-over?
5. Do you have any tattoos? If so, where and what of?
6. It's summer and it's a scorcher, you need to wear a bandana to keep your hair out of your face, what does your bandana look like?
7. Tea or coffee?
8. What's your perfume/scent of choice for a night out?
9. Shelby Mustang 2013 or Shelby Mustang 1967?
10. Any other talents besides art?


I tag:
:iconyewrezz:, :iconesveeka:, :icontwistyh-stock:, :iconthecallybear:, :icondeltapotamus:, :iconmissmalefic:, :iconmutednight:, :iconsilentclamity:, :iconpoisons-kiss: & :iconcandid-crocodiles:

~~

Mortal Instruments FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^


~x~

~~

Still accepting 50 :points: animated artist stamp commissions; see this link for more info. ❤

~~

:bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack: Connect With Me :bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack:





~ ♥ ~

Is breá slán a fhágáil ;; goodbye love ♥

~ ♥ ~

A couple of days after I wrote my last journal my tablet broke - it seemed that no matter what I did to resolve it, it had zero pen pressure and the cursor would wander (frequently) like a ghost even when I wasn't touching it. I installed new drivers, uninstalled them, uninstalled everything, reinstalled everything... to no avail. Just when I had resigned myself to no artwork for quite some time (possibly never again (as I had tried another tablet (work one) in place of mine and that too had issues) my computer rejected a perfectly good tablet, who's to say it wouldn't reject any others I tried to install?!), a frantic session of uninstalling, anything that may have impacted it in such a way, insued... I plugged the tablet back in and without any effort it worked (without the updated driver (I'm still convinced that was the culprit all along!)) and I spent the entire night till the early hours of the next morning painting a tiger.

My point is.... that when faced with the really real situation of possibly never being able to make art again I realised what I do have, in art, in friends, in inspiration and kind, so so kind people who I barely know and some who I've known for years. I doubted myself because I lived up to the expectations more and more. Everytime I submitted a piece of work I relied on good press, I craved the favs and comments like they were a drug and that I would only be "good enough" if I got a lot of them. I feel ashamed that I was drawn into the popularity contest that only keeps getting harder day by day.

No amount of words, gestures or heartfelt thank you's could thank the following people enough for their kindness;

CELESTIENE
Charlie--X
Aeirmid
bunnandcott
CoolCurry
Schwartze
Deltapotamus
Tolandiel-Roquen
ChikaZuri
Sparia
TheCallyBear
dancing-crows
MissMalefic
fillyrox
AmandaDrage
MizzCarnage
christi-chan
SilverSummerSong
arrsistable

I've read all of your comments, in fact I read them over and over in the last couple of weeks, I'm sorry I've not replied ~ I should have to begin with, and I will in the up and coming days reply to each and every one of you because, if anything, you deserve my respect for giving me some of your time, your advice and your love. You will never know how much I appreciate it :heart:

~~

In other news; I bought a GoPro Hero3+ Black Edition last month; I'm still getting to grips with it, the way it works, the way it fits, how it films, how it takes pictures etc. There's a lot to learn and practise with till I'll be anywhere good enough (NOTHING like a Canon....!!!!) But here's my 1st successfully edited video from this morning's ride out.... (it's best viewed in 720p)

youtu.be/l36-2eDbUd8

My journal is called "save me" purely for this girl here..... You could never imagine the feeling of freedom unless you've ridden and formed a bond with a horse - Megan's known for her ear dancing.... and in the last couple of months, she's been my saving grace <3



~~

Mortal Instruments FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^

Filine by EsveekaOrealis by Esveeka

:heart:

~x~

~~

Still accepting 50 :points: animated artist stamp commissions; see this link for more info. ❤

~~

:bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack: Connect With Me :bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack:







~ ♥ ~

~ ♥ ~

Lately I feel myself falling out of favour with my artwork.
I try, but cannot seem to find the rhythm needed, to continue at the pace of some of the artists on here.
I frequently try to better myself ~ new techniques, new inspiration, new stock etc. ~ but even more frequently fall by the way side.
I've tried to keep up; tried not to let the fall in favs affect what I submit next time.
I try to ignore the rude comments that some people leave and when I can't I hide them.
I always wanted to become a graphics designer... but no one will hire me...
And each and every day my confidence in myself and my work is being knocked for six.
I thought I was learning new things from truly great artists but I am only a miserable copy of what they continue to achieve.
The more I stick around the more I understand that I am the old generation of art that should have run it's course a million moons ago.

And that? That is another form of disappointment that I can't keep living up to.

Whilst everyone makes headway, I'm being washed out to sea and I swear I've forgotten how to swim.

~

After this last kiri prize, I can't do characters for a while. I can't get the style right and no matter how hard I try and how good I think something looks it's not AT ALL how it should have turned out. I can't do hair, and I can't do colours, I can't make your character something amazing because my artwork isn't amazing and you shouldn't want it as bad as you do.

I need room to breathe. I'm sorry.

~~

Mortal Instruments FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^

Filine by EsveekaOrealis by Esveeka

:heart:

~x~

~~

Still accepting 50 :points: animated artist stamp commissions; see this link for more info. ❤

~~

:bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack: Connect With Me :bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack:







~ ♥ ~

~ ♥ ~

So I though I'd drop by and give y'all a few 'teaser' photographs that I plan to make into stock as soon as I get home. I'm on Skye at the moment (the same Skye they used for the landscapes in the movie Prometheus!) and today was one of the finest days for photography in all existence - I cannot wait to share all this images with you when I get back home (if I even ever want to come home that is!! ;))

So here you are... Enjoy! ;)

Old Man of Storr - Sneak Peek Stock by devils-horizon

Black Cullin Ridge - Sneak Peek Stock by devils-horizon

Skye Shoreline - Sneak Peek Stock by devils-horizon

Kilt Rock - Sneak Peek Stock by devils-horizon

Mealt Waterfall + Kilt Rock - Sneak Peek Stock by devils-horizon

Rocky Shoreline - Sneak Peek Stock by devils-horizon

The Quiraing - Sneak Peek Stock by devils-horizon

The Quiraing II - Sneak Peek Stock by devils-horizon

The Quiraing III - Sneak Peek Stock by devils-horizon

~~

Scotland in Progress..

Mortal Instruments FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^

Filine by EsveekaOrealis by Esveeka

:heart:

~x~

~~

Still accepting 50 :points: animated artist stamp commissions; see this link for more info. ❤

~~

:bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack: Connect With Me :bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack:







~ ♥ ~

~ ♥ ~



I feel that you probably should all know that I lied.....

I'm not going to Scotland at all; where I'm actually going is somewhere much more sinister....

See I have an obsession and recently that obsession has become more and more affective of my moods and my violent behaviour if I don't have more of the thing I've become obsessed with...

It's sad really that it has come to this, but I'm checking myself in to a hospital before this gets really out of hand and I will be attending WTOA (Washi Tape Obsessives Anonymous) meetings till I'm able to curb this constant need...

I even caved and bought more of it just this afternoon.... This is how serious this is becoming... It's ruining my life....

So I'll see you when I see you...

I'm out!

April Fools!!! ;)

~~

Countdown To Scotland...

Mortal Instruments FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^

Filine by EsveekaOrealis by Esveeka

:heart:

~x~

~~

Still accepting 50 :points: animated artist stamp commissions; see this link for more info. ❤

~~

:bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack: Connect With Me :bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack:







~ ♥ ~

~ ♥ ~

The whole point of this feature is as follows...

if your work is featured below pick four (4) other featured artworks and fav & comment on them - please don't leave nasty comments on the works - the whole point of this feature is to spread the artwork love! ^^

Isonoe by CELESTIENE IT'S WHERE MY DEMONS HIDE by Bridleless THE FORBIDDEN POOL by Ladyperfume Given the theory of the right to brag vainly by Timely-Studios Feathered Friesians by PureBredDressage The Ever Changing Seasons by bellequine What's Out There by plutoplus1 Alice by Neaqmir The Forest Dancer by SilverCoast .: Kings High Hope :. by Zahkiin Killing me softly by TheIceViking Gift for Ame by ApplesAppies The V O O D O O Man by Broken-Lust Rori [UPDATE COMPLETED] by Tolandiel-Roquen Cat Portrait by Kiara-Vestigium hear me now by roaringdoe FAITH WAS NEVER THIS STRONG by osowyn above the clouds by littlewillow-art Searching For Perfection by apexdigitalconquests crawling back to you by mockingale Once Upon A Dream by Raiiiny So Cold... by Black-Lotus-Designs

and.....

a thousand voices howling in my head by Poisons-Kiss

for featuring two other artists and not herself! ;)

*March as a bad month for me.... let's hope April is better! ^^

Lover you all!!! <3

~~

Countdown To Scotland...

Mortal Instruments FanFiction...
undertow.


Sweet little icons by LineBirgitte found on Icon Archive
~

Resurrected Stock Account Here:

FuzzyLimeStock
:iconfuzzylimestock:


~Enjoy! ^^

Filine by EsveekaOrealis by Esveeka

:heart:

~x~

~~

Still accepting 50 :points: animated artist stamp commissions; see this link for more info. ❤

~~

:bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack: Connect With Me :bulletblack: :bulletwhite: :bulletblack:







~ ♥ ~